First Time Fears
by badly-knitted
Summary: Ryo takes the plunge and says 'yes' to Dee instead of 'no', leading to their first night together. Written for Challenge 94: Disappoint at beattheblackdog. Set during Vol. 7, Act 19.


**Title:** First Time Fears

 **Author:** badly-knitted

 **Characters:** Ryo, Dee.

 **Rating:** NC-17

 **Setting:** Vol. 7, Act 19.

 **Summary:** Ryo takes the plunge and says 'yes' to Dee instead of 'no', leading to their first night together.

 **Word Count:** 2037

 **Content Notes:** Unrepentant smut.

 **Written For:** Challenge 94: Disappoint at beattheblackdog.

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own FAKE, or the characters. They belong to the wonderful Sanami Matoh.

 **A/N:** A couple of lines of dialogue borrowed from the manga.

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OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

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Saying 'yes' to Dee instead of his usual panicked 'NO!' was scary, beyond just that niggle at the back of Ryo's mind wondering whether he was doing the right thing and if he was really, truly ready for this. He wanted Dee, had for some time if he was being honest with himself, but sleeping with him was such a huge step, and what if it all went wrong?

Dee was experienced, he'd been with men before; Ryo didn't think he wanted to know how many because he'd never, not with a man anyway, and he was completely out of his depth. Before Dee, he hadn't so much as kissed another man, never mind anything else, and now he was about to take the plunge he was desperately afraid he might disappoint his partner. He was just beginning to accept that he loved Dee, but he didn't have a clue what he was doing, and what if he turned out to be so bad in bed that Dee lost interest in him? That would be devastating. The alternative, that Dee might disappoint him, never crossed his mind. There was surely no way that could happen so it wasn't worth considering.

On the other hand, he'd already been stringing his partner along for way too long, so there was just as much of a risk that Dee would lose interest in him if nothing happened between them, which would be just as bad, if not worse. In the end, wasn't it better to risk failure by trying rather than not trying at all?

Dee's lips brushed his forehead, his cheek, his lips, and Ryo put the brakes on the mad whirl of his thoughts, pulling Dee closer and returning his kiss, deepening it. He wanted this, he wanted Dee; it was time to set his fears aside and accept everything about himself, if he wanted to hold on to the most important person in his life.

Lying back on Dee's bed, pulling his partner with him, Ryo gazed up into Dee's deep green eyes, trying to express everything he couldn't put into words with just a look. 'I want you, I need you, but I don't know what to do. Help me. Teach me.' Did Dee understand? Ryo could only pray he did.

"You sure about this, Ryo?" He'd seldom seen his partner looking so serious when work wasn't involved. Was he imagining it, or did Dee look a little nervous, a tiny bit uncertain? Like he was afraid to get his hopes up maybe…

"Yes, Dee, one hundred percent sure." Ryo wasn't lying; just because he was scared didn't mean he wasn't completely committed to what he was doing. He'd let fear control him for too long; fear of what other people would think, fear of his own desires, fear of losing control… but not anymore.

Dee's bare skin was smooth and warm beneath Ryo's fingers, and his lips held the familiar taste of tobacco overlaying a flavour that was uniquely Dee. His eyes burned like emerald fire as he slowly unbuttoned Ryo's borrowed pyjamas. Pulling Ryo up, Dee stripped the top off him and tossed it carelessly aside before laying Ryo back down on the comforter, kissing him hungrily. His fingertips roamed over Ryo's bare chest, exploring, mapping the contours of his ribs, teasing his nipples, making Ryo gasp and arch his body up towards the man who was about to become his lover.

Ryo was completely in Dee's hands, and Dee was taking full advantage, making him feel things he'd never imagined. He licked and nipped his way down Ryo's neck and chest, simultaneously tasting him and stimulating sensitive nerve endings Ryo hadn't previously been aware of. He barely noticed when Dee deftly unfastened the pyjama pants; it didn't really register until Dee was urging him to raise his hips so he could pull them down.

Being completely naked before Dee's avid gaze was embarrassing, especially since Dee was still wearing the sweatpants he'd had on when Ryo arrived. He felt his cheeks heat up, knew he was blushing, but Dee either didn't notice or didn't care. When Ryo managed to pry his eyes open he realised Dee's attention seemed to be focused lower down anyway, and he watched as Dee's head moved lower, lower, lower still, until…

A whine escaped Ryo's lips as Dee's tongue ran up his erection from root to tip, swirling around the head. He couldn't keep his eyes open any longer; the sensation was too intense.

"You okay there?" Dee's voice was husky and low.

"Mnh!" Ryo nodded tightly. He felt giddy and light-headed, completely out of his depth. He should probably do something, reciprocate in some way, but his brain seemed to have stopped working. "God!"

"I usually just go by Dee."

It was such a flippant remark that it drew an incredulous half laugh from Ryo. "Dee!"

"That's better. You gotta relax a bit, baby. Don't tense up so much; I'm not gonna hurt ya."

Ryo hadn't realised he was so tense; it was just all so new. "I know. Sorry."

"Nothin' to apologise for. We're not gonna go all the way if that's what you're worried about, not this time. Much as I'd love to be buried deep inside ya, I don't think you're quite ready for that yet. I just wanna make you feel good, that's all."

"You are. I just… I've never…"

Kneeling astride Ryo's legs, Dee grinned down at him. "I know that, dummy. That's why I'm tryin' to take this slow. Which isn't easy, havin' you all stretched out in front of me like this, naked and gorgeous. Feel like I could drown in you and never come up for air. Touch me, baby."

"How? Where? I don't want to disappoint you." There, he'd said it. Ryo bit his lip, blushing furiously.

"You won't. God, how can you even think that? This is every wet dream I've ever had about you come true, and trust me, I've dreamed about this a lot. Just touch me, wherever and however you want to. I just need to feel your hands on me."

"Okay."

Ryo was a bit hesitant at first, running his hands over Dee's broad shoulders and down his muscular chest, gradually growing a little bolder, brushing lightly over Dee's nipples, feeling them grow hard beneath his palms. He slid his hands lower, tracing Dee's abs, feeling the muscles flexing smoothly with Dee's every breath, and then faltered; the dark sweatpants hanging low on Dee's hips were tented out in an unmistakeable indication of Dee's arousal. Ryo bit his lip and tentatively brushed one hand over the bulge, feeling Dee's hardness through the fabric, damp where the head of Dee's cock pressed just beneath the waistband. Ryo had never touched another man so intimately before and was almost shocked by how excited it made him feel. His own cock twitched in response and he could feel himself starting to leak, pre-come seeping out, smearing across his belly. Still, now he was touching Dee he didn't want to stop, delicately exploring his partner's eager erection, biting his lip as he wondered if he was bold enough to slide Dee's sweatpants down and touch him there with no barrier between his fingers and Dee's cock. As much as he wanted to he couldn't quite bring himself to do it just yet.

Dee held still for as long as he could manage, his breathing growing shallow and rapid, his cock twitching and jerking as Ryo's fingertips traced over it, mostly concentrating on the head, rubbing him through damp fabric. It was the sweetest kind of torture imaginable and as Ryo briefly gripped him through his pants, Dee thought for a moment he might come just from that. Clinging to the last shreds of his self-control, he grasped Ryo's wrist, moving his hand away as he lowered himself over his soon to be lover, kissing his baby deeply. Reaching between them he tugged the drawstring of his pants undone and shoved them down, freeing his cock with a relieved groan.

"Damn, baby. Want you so bad!" He awkwardly kicked the sweatpants off and pressed his erection against Ryo's, so they nestled together side by side, gasping at the feel of Ryo's hot length against his own. "God, you feel so amazing! You're makin' me so hard!"

Ryo groaned, his arms tightening around Dee to hold him close, his hips shifting instinctively to press his cock harder against Dee's, seeking friction. Dee couldn't help himself; he began to thrust urgently, rubbing convulsively against Ryo for several long moments until he managed to regain control. He'd waited so long for this that he didn't want it to be over too soon.

As Dee pulled back from him, Ryo whimpered.

"Hush, baby. Soon. First I want to taste you." Dee slid downwards once more, pushing Ryo's legs apart and settling between them. Resisting the temptation to rut against the softness of the comforter beneath him, he took Ryo's cock in his mouth, head bobbing slowly up and down as he sucked, tongue circling the head to collect droplets of pre-come. He would have liked to suck his baby off, but that would have to wait for another time; this first time, he wanted them to come together. Giving Ryo's dick one final hard suck, Dee released it with a wet pop and licked his lips, savouring his first taste. "Mmmm, tasty!"

Eyes half closed he gazed down at his partner for a long moment, waiting until Ryo opened his eyes before leaning down to kiss him slowly and thoroughly, wondering if Ryo would be put off by the taste of himself on Dee's lips and tongue. He didn't seem to be, judging by the way he was kissing back. Dee adjusted his position, lining his and Ryo's cocks up against each other once more, and coaxing Ryo to wrap his long legs around him. This time there'd be no holding back; they'd ride each other hard to the finish line. It was going to be glorious!

Everything after that was a haze of pleasure for Ryo; Dee's lips on his, their bodies pressed together from shoulder to thigh, their hips moving rhythmically as they rubbed against each other, the sensations growing more intense with every thrust. Somewhere amidst the maelstrom of passion he felt Dee's moist fingers slide underneath his ass, touching him where nobody had ever touched him before, stroking, massaging, teasing, pressing inside a little way, then a little further, and for reasons he didn't fully understand, it excited him. Ryo groaned, arching his back and pressing down on that intrusive finger, his whole body tingling on the brink of orgasm. Then the finger bent, and it was a if a switch had been thrown; intense pleasure flooded through his body as he came with a shout, his release quickly followed by Dee's, the warm, sticky wetness spreading between them.

They shuddered together, riding out the waves of their orgasms, thrusting lazily against each other through the aftershocks. Dee slid his finger free, his hand moving to stroke soothingly along Ryo's thigh as they came back down to earth. The minutes crept past as they caught their breath, Dee's weight pressing Ryo into the mattress, comforting at first but gradually starting to feel too heavy. At last Dee rolled to one side, pulling Ryo with him, holding him close and kissing him, slow and lingering.

"Okay?"

"Mnh." It wasn't exactly coherent, but it was all Ryo could manage right then. He didn't remember ever coming so hard or so long in his life.

"I'll take that as a yes," Dee chuckled. "Woo! That was fuckin' awesome!" He still sounded a bit breathless.

Ryo smiled sleepily. To think he'd been worried he might disappoint Dee. He felt his lover shift, tugging the comforter from beneath them to drape it over their sweat-dampened and cooling bodies. The warmth added to the relaxed lassitude he was feeling pulled him inexorably towards sleep and his last thought as he drifted off was that he wasn't scared anymore. Lying here in the arms of the man he loved, he was right where he belonged.

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The End


End file.
